Restless in October

Jerking, twitching.

Too restless.

Racing, spinning.

Too anxious.

Aching, burning.

Too much distraction.

Buzzing, whizzing,

Too many whispers,

And too much white page to fill.

Random, yes, but accurate. Halfway through October my trudging train of progress chugged right into a ditch that silly conductor me has been trying to trudge out of instead of stopping to reassess the cause.

I probably should have used the metaphor of an RC car with a dying battery trying to drive over a speed bump or something. Oh well.

I've still got no clue what caused it, all I know is whenever I sit to do any work on the novels or the short stories I get uncomfortable and anxious, jittery and-–well just see above. Maybe it's time for a new chair, one that actually began with cushion. Maybe I need to rearrange my desk and relocate it again.

(God I hope not. There's limited functional space in here as it is.)

Or perhaps I need to drop two projects and focus on fewer stories.

Possible, but this anxiety feels deeper somehow, and doesn't quite address the jitters (No, I don't drink coffee and haven't had a soda in over a month. Just not my thing.) Maybe I should think about breaking tasks down to amoeba-sized steps.

Step one: Divide writing tasks further to designate one day to one story until you get your head right. Must ponder this one.

So if I accept it's my workspace (it likely is; this chair was never meant to hold anyone for such long periods of time over two years of use), I must hunt out a replacement of ergonomic quality likely requiring self-assembly, not beyond $100 if that chair exists. Meanwhile, I've picked up a lap desk to work away from my flimsy assembly of kindling; it looks like it should suffice for short sessions on the couch or on my bed.

Does anyone have experience with a good ergonomic (or just very cushy) desk chair they're willing to recommend me? I think armrests might be nice, but they aren't the necessity.

Happy Halloween should you be one to celebrate it.

(I totally forgot to get myself candy pumpkins this year.)

New Project

I woke this morning with uncharacteristic energy and motivation to get things done, my main goal shall be to handle this clutter. A lot of it is the same information, or useless.

A part of me is considering washing down those doors. I have a few other things to do so that probably should wait.

It's too easy to build clutter and not notice as it saps your mood and motivation in miniscule increments. I'm a tidy and organized person (okay, okay, I'm obsessive) but it catches me all the time.

-Some unasked for advice: set at least a day aside every week to really look at your workspace and consider tidying up. Or washing surfaces down. A fresh smelling, allergen-free workspace is wonderful, but simply returning books to their shelves can be just as revitalizing. Setting a schedule keeps you from forgetting, so you deal with it before clutter takes effect.

I should probably go handle my clutter now.

August in Review

August is concluded. Pretty sure I completed most of my goals, or enough of them to be satisfied with myself considering three weeks of crushing frustration about writing and plotting.

I have discovered the timer is my friend. With the help of the yTimer program*, I've managed to get more done this month than in past attempts, and I'm only doing 30 minute intervals.

The reasons (in a bullet list!):

• Forces me to focus on one thing at a time, and not worry/consider/daydream about anything else because I have a limited amount of time to work before the obnoxious buzzing occurs.
• Allows me to focus on task at hand because I know that I only have to toil at it for 30 minutes before I can fly from my chair and forget about it for a while instead of staring at a page blankly until I nod off.
• I don't stare at a blank page until I doze off. Somehow, actually having a timer cut back on the frequency of dozing off at my desk, and proceeding irritation of trying to translate what I wrote down right before sleep struck. It wasn't cool in high school, and it isn't cool now.
• Hand-in-hand with the previous, the 30 minute timer buzzes before boredom swoops in and I start playing with fonts in the editor or embellishing letters and doodling in page margins.
• The short breaks between force me to get up and handle other tasks, like preparing for the next day of work, getting more water, or just stretching (which helps with that whole falling asleep issue – who knew?)

Don't ask me why I didn't take to this strategy sooner when I've read and printed so many articles about it already.

I still have the impression of time missing in my week. I've been using methods to track my hours, but still haven't found all those missing minutes. Maybe they never leave bed when I get up in the morning.

Writing

1.      Made it to the end of the first scene of the new short I'm working on. Haven't devoted much time to it.

• Sketched a brief outline for the short.

1.      Still struggling with outline for LBW, but stumbled across a blog, Do-It-Yourself MFA(DIYMFA), with helpful articles, and through playing around with a mind mapping app to make character sketches I surprised myself by finding more ideas for back story, and a few for the plot.

• I also played around with free form character interviews of two characters, and dug up some more back story.

Revision

1.      The short in revision is, well, still in revision. It's one of three stories I've ever done that began right in the middle of the action, and not before. It feels cheesy for that reason, but maybe it really isn't.

2.      ST is so close to being done its 2^nd revision. Goodness, it's been a chore. Call me Madame Treeslayer.

I'm working to take the advice of numerous writers and break writing tasks down to the smallest goals possible. I do it all the time with my daily chores, but never tried with writing. I'm thinking it might help.

Hmm...I should probably decide what my goals for September will be too.

*yTimer by Spacejock software. Free to download and use. I am a fan of his yWriter program, which is how I found the timer.

Fireworks, Flame-grills, and Fantastic Fabrications

July, here again, hot and heavy. Tomorrow will bring fireworks and smoking grills, and my least-favorite question to be asked, “What are you doing for your birthday?” That question never gets easier to answer.


I do have plans to get a fair amount of writing and revision done during this yucky month.